Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
