Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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