Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just gift wrapped bread.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
