think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
