i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
