he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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