I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
