She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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