I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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