Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
