okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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