why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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