i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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