Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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