Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I look better un-naked...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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