it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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