I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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