508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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