The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
