We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
