420 ftw
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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