Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
