There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
