Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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