ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
