oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
pray to the hookup gods
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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