Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
