your thong is hanging out like whoa
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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