The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
