Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
