I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
