Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I have aggressive nipples.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
