I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
