Nicole vs. Life
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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