Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
