Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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