I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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