Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
