sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Randomize
