you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
