even my farts smell like vagina
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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