Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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