its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
