You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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