I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
