Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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