I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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