new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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