but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Enjoy the penises
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
