dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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