Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
So much Jack, so little girl.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
